Sickness and War
by qtmelnee
Summary: 1918 France during World War I. Bella Swan is a Nurse who has been transfered to France to care for sick and wounded soldiers. One problem. She has fallen for Edward Mason, an ill injured soldier and he may be dying. Bella POV Short story .
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer- Characters and several lines belong to Stephenie Meyer**

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****Ch1**

I don't know how much more of this I can take, I thought as I lay down on the one of the last available cots in the nurses' room. It was January of 1918, and I was desperately holding back the tears wanted to burst out from eyes. Another soldier… dead, was this war really worth all that pain? The loved ones lost forever, the undo-able sacrifices? It really can't be worth all that.

I sobbed into the flat, lifeless pillow, unable to hold back the tears which bursted from my eyes like water from a dam.

"There, there, Bella." A voice said from behind me patting my back and sitting on the side of the wobbly cot. This was Alice, my closest friend here at the hospital. She could practically predict the future when it came to her patients, which had scared me most of the time, and she always found a way to save them from death or pain. Her soft hazel eyes made me feel like I was home again instead of this scary place.

"It's just so…" I sobbed again, talking into my pillow.

"Painful." Alice said finishing my sentence in her calm, comforting voice.

But it was true. It _was_ painful. Painful, for me to watch our boys come here in pain. And not just the physical pain, but all the emotional pain that came with it. Worst of all was for them to pass, _in pain_.

I hated when the men started statements with "If I make it," or "After I'm gone." It killed me to try and force a smile and tell them, "It's going to be okay, it's silly to think you wouldn't recover," "It really isn't at all that bad," or "You'll be up and out of here in a jiffy." I really hated lying and I knew I convinced no one except those who wanted so badly to believe it.

There was only one thing I hated more. I couldn't convince myself that it was the truth, even when I wanted with every fiber of my being for it to be so.

I wasn't transferred that long ago. This is my first time in a different country. When I originally thought about going to France, I imagined that I would be in Paris being wooed by some romantic man with a French accent.

I was wrong. Instead I was surrounded by the death, pain, and suffering of The Great War _**(World War I if you're wondering)**_. How can anyone do this for so long? I couldn't quit. I had helped the injured and suffering. I could continue to help them, even if it killed me inside.

"How is he?" I sniffled looking up in to that beautiful pixie face framed by short spiky black hair that belonged to Alice. She acted so ridiculous sometimes you couldn't help but laugh but when she was serious… let's just say it could get scary.

"Edward will pull through," she said with a weak smile on her face. This was her hopeful expression. "He's tough, that one."

"I hope so," I sighed holding back yet another round of tears. I had felt about him in a way that I couldn't explain, much stronger than I'd ever felt about any other soldier. He was one of the younger men, no more than a year older than me, and extraordinarily handsome. Edward's brown hair with a reddish undertone was almost what one could call bronze. His eyes were the brightest shade of emerald green that I've ever seen in my life and complimented his angular features. Those eyes shown more brightly every time I saw him.I though he might be getting better but the weak look I just saw on his sleeping face only convinces me otherwise.

"You care too much for him you know. You really shouldn't be crying this much over one soldier Bella. And he _is_ getting better." Alice said in a matter of fact way, with a concerned look on her face.

"Sorry." I said, blushing while wiping the remainder of tears off my face. "I just, I don't know."

"Stop being such a worry wart. You're not the first that's happened to. I think you should worry about the other boys and let someone else tend to him." Her face was unreadable. Normally Alice's expressions were easy to read, but this was a first. I didn't know if she was saying this because it was doubtful I would see him again once he was discharged or out of concern for me because I was becoming too attached; And if things took a turn for the worst… I couldn't think about that it made a pain in my chest before I had finished my thought.

Things with Edward wouldn't get worse, the wound on his side was healing nicely and there was no infection. He was rather ill with some kind of sickness but that would get better too.

"You're right Alice, I need to stay focused. You're such a comfort. I'm glad I get to work with you." I said and hugged her. She patted my back.

"Now get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a very long day, we both have double shifts." She got up and went to lie on a vacant cot across the room.

I would wait a few minutes until she was asleep. I know it's deceitful but I have to at least tell Edward that I won't be able to take care of him for a while. How would I tell him? I guess I'll come up with something when the moment came.

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I lay on my stomach, fidgeting. How long had it been since Alice had gone and lay down? Was it a few seconds or a few hours? I couldn't tell I just kept my eyes closed tried to lie still while fighting the sleep that so desperately wanted to engulf me. I hadn't realized how tired I really was. I though, maybe if I just let myself doze for a bit I could wake myself up… Or maybe I would fall asleep and never get a chance to tell Edward why I had to avoid him.

My eyes flew open. I couldn't let that happen. I rolled over to see if Alice was asleep. Her chest rose and sank slowly, surely she was asleep. Her head was turned away from me so she would never see me leaving. I slowly and carefully lifted myself off the bed avoiding any squeaks the cot might make. All the remaining cots were full now meaning there was no possibility of someone taking my cot in my absence.

I snuck down three rows, of sleeping exhausted nurses, avoiding making even the slightest sound in just case I was dealing with light sleepers. If someone saw me they would surely tell Alice. Finally I reached the door of the nurse's quarters and snuck into the hall. Once outside I was in the clear.

I walked hastily to the recovering room. Edward's bed was the sixth bed on the right. The night nurses were scattered through the white room. None of them could tell Alice because of their shifts. I walked quickly to his side and gazed down on that beautiful face.

His eyes were closed but there was something different about his face that wasn't there when I checked up on him before I went to bed. He had a pleased grin on his face. Maybe he was having a happy dream, which was a good thing; many of the soldiers would wake often in the night screaming. It was sad that their screams never woke the others; they all had grown accustomed to it. Edward hadn't screamed since I started caring for him but I'm not sure why.

"Hello again Nurse Swan." He whispered startling me causing me to jump a little.

He opened his blazing green eyes; they were stronger than the last time I gazed into them, almost hypnotic. He was chuckling at my surprised expression. Why was I here again? I think it had something to do with what Alice had said but I couldn't be sure what that was now. Then he said gazing back into my eyes, his grin grew bigger. After a few moments his expression grew expectant then he said.

"Nurse Swan?" He said slowly still grinning. Not waiting for my reply he continued. "Shouldn't you be asleep?" He was still smiling, and I couldn't find the words to reply to him, my heart gave a jolt. So I replied with all that my throat would allow.

"Mm-hmm." His eyes closed with a content smile.

"How are you going to get anything done tomorrow if you're here all night fussing over me, silly?" His eyes were still closed. "You need your sleep Bella, you should really go back to bed, I'll be fine I swear. I promise to be here in the morning I'm not leaving anytime soon." His was being completely sincere, only, there was a note in his voice that told me he really didn't want me to leave.

"I won't be able to take care of you tomorrow." I finally blurted out, finding my voice at last. I regretted saying it once it the words left my mouth. There was silence for what seemed a few hours.

"Oh." He finally responded, the smile now gone from his face, and his eyes were still closed.

"I'm sorry, really, I want to, but Alice says…" Should I tell him that Alice knows I'm growing too fond of him? That I need to put some distance between myself and him incase something took a turn for the worst? Would that upset him more? He opened his eyes waiting for me to finish my statement. I could see the hurt behind his eyes. "I need to take a brake and I'm over working myself and I just thought that since I wouldn't be in here tomorrow that I'd check up on you tonight. Don't tell any of the day nurses I snuck out because Alice will find out and have a fit. I promised her that I would stay in bed." I lied. My heart ached. How could I do that to him? Tomorrow I would have to work in the other room so that he wouldn't catch me in a lie. I'm certain my face gave it away but he had closed his eyes again.

"Well if Alice wants you to get some sleep..." He said slowly opening his eyes which quickly caught me again. "Then you should probably be doing that, shouldn't you?" He looked relieved now. He reached out with one hand and stroked the side of my face. My heart began to race at his touch.

"I suppose." I finally said closing my eyes to avoid his gaze. "Good night Edward."

"Bella, before you go, may I ask you something?" His voice was angelic, almost innocent of any intentions.

"Is there something you need me to get you?" I asked standing up.

"No, no." He said taking my hand to get me to sit back down. I sat. "Isabella I was simply wondering… how you feel about me." His eyes tensed protected about something, like he was anticipating something bad.

"What do you mean?" I asked, curiosity coursing through me. Did he mean about his condition? Or how I really _felt_ about him?

"I mean what I said. How do you feel about me?" His eyes were kind now, almost like he knew the answer but he just wanted to hear it to be sure.

"In which sense of the word _feel_?" I asked trying to buy myself some time. He gave a weak smile and his dazzling eyes were looking straight into mine now.

"Never mind, I can see how you feel by the look on your face Bella, you're so easy to read, and I would know, I'm an excellent reader. I feel it too you know? I just wanted to hear it though, just to be sure. I can't seem to separate reality from my dreams lately, but I know this is real. You don't have to say it; it might make things more difficult if something happens. It's alright, don't be upset Bella, I told you I won't go anywhere."

He was sitting up now so that our faces were level and only a few inches apart. I closed my eyes waiting. I didn't know if he thought I was thinking so I leaned my head towards him, eyes still closed and tears streaming. His soft hands were on either side of my face, holding me between them, stopping me. I opened my eyes to look at his expression. It was a look of triumph and happiness; his eyes were gleaming bright into mine. He was happy with my response.

"Silly girl," he laughed quietly. "Have you forgotten that I'm ill? I couldn't allow you to get sick! What kind of man would that make me?" I sighed, looking down from his gaze for a second then looking back his smile making my heart pound so fast I thought it might fly out of my chest.

"I love you," I whispered so quietly I wasn't sure if he heard me. He had released my face to lie back down. I kissed him on the forehead and he closed his eyes and smiling.

"I love you too, Bella." With that I left and went back to my cot in the nurses' room. I was exhausted but I didn't know if I could sleep. I sighed.

He loved me, and he knew I loved him and that's all that really mattered now.


	2. Chapter 2

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**Disclaimer- Characters and several lines belong to Stephenie Meyer**

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CH 2

The next day seemed to take forever to end. Alice banned me from the room in which Edward was contained for fear that I would fuss over him and not pay attention to the other men. I allowed my mind to wonder back to last night playing everything back over and over, making my heart speed up every time I got to the part where he said he loved me. Several times I had to ask for instructions again because I was so lost in thought. Well so much for no distractions.

"What?" I asked snapping back to reality again for the umpteenth time. Rosalie had been trying to fill me in on the condition of one of her patients before she took her lunch break. Unfortunately, I didn't catch anything she had said. The look on her face was extremely frustrated like she had told me this more than once already, which she probably had. Nurse Rosalie, or Nurse Hale as she preferred to be called, was a tall statuesque, beautiful blonde woman who thought much too highly of herself. Why she became a nurse no one is sure but most of us wish she hadn't.

"Bella! It is extremely important that you replace bed fours' bandages as soon as possible. You know, Mr. Black?" She paused looking to make sure what she said registered. When she noticed she had my full attention she went on. "Why you are wasting my time and not paying proper attention to my instructions? You gave Mr. Banner a glass of water when he asked for a new bed pan and nobody can keep your attention for more than a few seconds today! What is going on with you today?" She said in an aggressive, aggravated tone as her cheeks flared red in frustration. If looks could kill, I would surely be dead.

Flustered I replied. "I'm so sorry Rose. I'm just distracted that's all. I apologize and promise to stay focused."

"Well lucky for you it was only a bed pan because if it were something of large importance someone could have died. Don't let it happen again Bella." She warned as she strode off toward the cafeteria in all of her perfection.

When she was out of sight I walked over to the closet which contained sterile bandages and carried them over to bed four. As I approached Mr. Black sat up carefully with a tight smile while avoiding any more pain to his abdomen where his largest wound was. He had two, smaller, less serious wounds on his chest and head. He had made a fuss and refused to wear a top because he complained that it bother him with all the bandages. Not that any of us nurses minded. Mr. Black was fit in the extreme but still thin. His skin was light brown and many of us guessed he inherited that from a native ancestor, and he couldn't be more than half native from the look of his features. He had short black hair and deep dark brown eyes.

"Hello Mr. Black, I'm Nurse Swan." I greeted, turning on my charm to distract him from the bandage changes. "How are you feeling today?"

"Better now that I have company. I've never met you before, or at least not that I can remember." He laughed and pointed to his head wound. "Are you new?" he asked smiling as I tended to his head wound. He kept trying to keep eye contact with me which made changing his bandage extremely difficult due to his constant head movement.

"Hold still, will you?" I giggled. He smiled and sat still looking straight forward. "No I'm not new, and we haven't met because I normally work in the other room, but I have heard a lot about you Mr. Black."

"Call me Jacob, Nurse Swan, and I assume the others have been bragging about my flirtatious nature I suppose?" He asked with a mischievous smile, still holding perfectly still.

"Bella and actually, I've heard more of your stubbornness than anything else. Though, I will admit to hearing about you distracting a nurse or two from their duties." I smiled as I finished wrapping his new bandage.

"I see." He said. His features twisted leading me to believe he was deep in thought. "Are you easily distracted?" He asked in a husky tone. I continued to unravel his abdominal bandage while ignoring his question and accidentally bumped his right side making him wince in pain as he leaned back closing his eyes and facing the ceiling.

"Oh my, I'm so sorry Mr. Black. Are you alright?" I asked quickly placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Jacob, call me Jacob, and I'll be fine, just… just distract me from the pain for a moment." He asked with a tight voice.

"Your head wound is healing nicely?" I paused and he waved his hand for me to continue. "Did you know that? It should be completely healed within the next few days and you won't need those bandages replaced as often." I said quickly hoping that he would focus on his heads pain rather than his abdomen, though it wasn't true, his head wouldn't be better for at least two weeks. He laughed, all the tightness in his voice vanished.

"You really aren't very good at the whole distraction thing are you?" He said looking up at me and smiling. "And you're a terrible liar;" he added. I gave him a confused look wondering how he knew but before I could ask he said, "Your voice gave it away. Please continue Bella," he added gesturing towards his half removed bandage the mischievous smile took over his features once more.

I quickly finished re-dressing the wounds being extremely careful not to bump his sensitive spots. Several times I accidently ran my fingers across the warm skin of his upper abs and stopped because he would suddenly look at me with intense and uncertain eyes and I was stuck there until he gave me a shy smile and would look away again.

Jacob didn't hold the same effect that Edward did over me, but Jacob filled me with warmth of what one could only describe as friendship. The whole time he'd make funny comments about Nurse Rosalie, who he didn't care for (though not many did, even among us nurses).

As I was about to walk away and make the check up rounds Jacobs hand caught my wrist before I could take another step. "Where are you going?" He asked, sounding more like a child than a 19 year old man who had seen war, a pleading look on his face.

"I have other patients I've got to check up on Jacob." I looked down at his sad eyes. How could I tell that face no? I had no other choice I needed to get back to the others.

"Bella, do you have any idea how lonely it gets here? The men on either side of me are always sleeping and the only time I get to talk to anyone is when a nurse checks on me or changes my bandages." He whispered looking down at his hands.

"I'll come back soon to check up on you, but I have to make sure that others are being tended to as well as you are. My shift will be ending soon so I'll come by to visit before its time for lights out." With that I walked away and made my rounds. I kept my promise and once I was done getting one last glass of water and changing another soiled bedpan I washed up and went to visit Jacob. He seemed pleased that I kept my promise. We talked for the remainder of his visiting time before I had to depart.

Alice was off shift already and probably in the dining hall so I thought it safe to take a peek on how Edward was doing. I glanced through the window toward where Edward's bed sat and realized it was empty and dressed with new sheets. There was only one reason a bed was ever emptied… _NO!_ My head screamed. _No, no, no, how could this happen? He was fine last night recovering very nicely. He couldn't be… dead. _I barged into the room and walked straight to Dr. Cullen, a handsome blonde doctor with lovely golden eyes.

"What happened to Edward?" I asked pointing to the empty bed as tears rolled down my face. I blinked them away, wiping the remainder off with the back of my hand, looking straight at Dr. Cullen.

"We had to move him to a more convenient spot, Nurse Swan. You see, he is in the recovering stages of his illness and needs more rest and this bunch is quite restless. He was moved to the room just across the hall from the cafeteria he is in bed seventeen." He explained quickly as to not upset me further. I sighed with relief thanking Dr. Cullen quickly and made my way back out the door and down the hall to the room he spoke of. I was just about to enter when a voice came from behind me.

"Isabella Swan where do you think you're going?" Alice. I recognized her voice instantly and knew I was caught.


	3. Chapter 3

**Ch 3.**

"_Isabella Swan where do you think you're going?" Alice. I recognized her voice instantly and knew I was caught._

I stood there stunned with my mouth gaping open, my back to her. How could I think Alice wouldn't see _this_ coming? Of course Alice would suspect as much seeing as she knew they had moved him. I couldn't reply because I was caught red handed.

"Well? What do you have to say for yourself?" She demanded. I turned to face her and wished I hadn't. She looked like a mother who had caught her child pulling freshly planted flowers from the garden beds.

"I…" I started to say without realizing what I was going to say. Alice took advantage of my hesitation to answer for me.

"You were going to see him. Bella you are off duty now. I insist that you get dinner and go straight to bed. It has been a long day and you don't have time to waste. Tomorrow you will report back to the same room in which you worked today do you understand me?" Her tone was that of a superior, one not to be messed with.

"Alice, please," I begged. "Please let me see him, just for a moment?" The traitor tears began to fill my eyes as I looked down to wipe them away before she would spot them.

"Bella don't cry." She walked over and put a tiny arm around my shoulders and patting my arm. "I'm only doing this because I know it won't make things better when he has to leave." She added knowingly.

"But he loves me," I mumbled still looking down. I wasn't sure if she had heard me so I peeked up from under my eyelashes to see a look of shock on her face. I raised my head to see her face clearly and sure enough her eyes bore into me in bewilderment.

"What was that? Because I swore I heard you say he loves you." She was still shocked, her eyes never blinked.

"I did say that, and oh, Alice I love him too. Please don't keep me away from him." I pleaded turning my back to her as I placed my head on the wall neighboring the door that led to Edward.

"Bella you can't care for him during your shift and you know it." She paused, taking a deep breath before finally saying. "Okay, visit him on your breaks but you must eat before visiting and don't let this distract you. I heard you were in a trance today, don't get sloppy, and stay focused. Now go on and see him, you have fifteen minutes then I expect you to be joining me at dinner." With that she left me.

I took a moment to compose myself. My heart was made of pure radiation as I pushed open the door.

Bed seventeen was easy enough to find, but the walk to him seemed endless. I stopped at the foot of his bed and gazed at the handsome peaceful face. I couldn't disturb him so I just stood there for awhile smiling and day dreaming of what things would be like when the war was over and we were both safely home.

I was brought out of my dreaming by a soft _ahem_ to realize Edward was awake and beaming at me with those blazing green eyes. Is it possible that they were greener? It was like looking at the beautiful emerald grass hills of Ireland, so serine, so captivating.

"Hello Bella," He whispered, smiling smugly. "I was under the impression that you were unavailable for visits today."

"I was but I found time, though I have to leave for dinner soon." I said moving to his side and taking a seat next to him smiling down into his eyes as I placed my hand gently on his forehead. "You're looking much better, how was your day? Have you been getting plenty of rest?"

"I'm feeling much better now, my day was tiresome until you showed up," He took my hand away from his forehead and into his. "And I have slept most of the day away hoping I didn't miss a visit from you." He placed my hand on his cheek closing his eyes as my touch. "I'm so glad I woke when I did otherwise I might have missed you." He whispered.

I couldn't help the surge of energy from bursting from my chest in a rush of pure happiness at his words, though I'm sure I have never felt this way before I'm positively frightened. Is it really possible for one person to make another feel in such a way?

"I love when you do that." He said opening his blazing green eyes which bore into mine as if swimming through my thoughts.

"Do what?" I asked shakily trying to control my unstable heart.

"When your heart quickens, it gives you away, not that your eyes don't do the same but your heart is easier to feel." I blush at his words looking down into my lap. He lifts my chin with his finger bringing my eyes back to his. "My heart does it too." He places my hand on his chest to feel his hearts frantic beat. "I love this feeling, I love you."

I couldn't hold myself together. As I leaned towards him I stopped halfway down at someone yelling my name.

"BELLA!"

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**You know I just noticed people seem to yell at her a lot… oh well, maybe she should stop getting caught doing stuff she shouldn't be doing. Wonder who it is? Got any guesses? Review! It's one of two, maybe three, or four people. Stay tuned! Gimme a guess!**

**-qtmelnee**


	4. Chapter 4

Ch 4

"_BELLA!"_

Not, again I thought. Only this time was different, this time it wasn't Alice yelling at me but a man. I stood up straight, trying not to blush and look like I had been caught doing something I probably should have, but was unsuccessful. My mouth formed an O of surprise to see that it was Emmett, another soldier who always seemed to enjoy making me blush for a good laugh. Unfortunately he'd just succeeded once again. Every eye in the room was on me now.

Emmett was in his early twenties. He was tall with broad shoulders, brown eyes, and dark brown curly hair had grown out a little since his arrival, meaning it didn't fit the army's standard cut anymore.

He rolled with laughter holding his healing left side and arm as I glared at him, my face growing hotter with embarrassment as the rest of the room joined him. He just ruined the moment I'd been imagining about all day. Once the surprise settled I finally able to form words.

"Emmett! What are you doing out of bed?" I demanded. I was still absolutely and unbelievably embarrassed. Emmett's face, having been pleased with this outcome, filled with delectation. Before he could make a smart quip I interrupted him, anger now replacing my embarrassment. "Never mind, get back to bed before I go and fetch Nurse Rose."

The room silenced instantly, and Emmett's face fell. "You wouldn't." He said disbelievingly.

"Oh, I would, and I don't think she'd appreciate me interrupting her dinner because you snuck out of bed again." All the boys oooo-ed at Emmett as he put his right hand up in defeat.

"Alright, alright." He said walking back to his bed.

I looked down at Edward with apologetic eyes. "I'm sorry, Edward. I almost certain I've used up all of my allotted time, I must be off to dinner." I squeezed his hand and he squeezed back.

"I can't expect you to starve on my behalf." He chuckled quietly. "Thank you." He whispered closing his eyes as I let go of his hand and made my way back through the room toward the doors.

"Oh Nurse Swan!" Emmett crooned not only getting my attention but the whole room as well. I swirled back with a surly attitude; I had had enough of this. I was only three beds from him and one from my desired exit.

"Emmett, I've had enough of your shenanigans for the night, if you are incapable of restraining your tongue I'll go and fetch someone who can." I snapped placing my hands on my hips.

"Can I make a request as to how it will be restrained?" He said winking playfully and blowing a kiss at me.

"Oh you think you're so clever don't you," I laughed dryly, then unable to restrain a mischievous smile. "I know someone who isn't so easily charmed Emmett, shall I send her in?"

"Nurse Swan," he paused, feigning fear. "Your threats have no meaning. You never put any action behind them." He was smiling, with a challenging look to his eye.

"I see." And with that I left the room and headed to the nurses commons as Emmett burst into his puissant and boisterous laughter, laughter that wouldn't be lasting much longer.

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**Sorry it took so long for such a short update. I'm going to try my best to write more frequently. Reviews would encourage more frequent updates… *hint*hint***

**-qtmelnee**


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